Friiiiiidddayyyyyyyyy!! Oh, thank you Baby Jesus.

Crap! Thunderstorm! I better type quick in case I lose power.

Anyway: First off, thanks to Shelley for her hilarious post yesterday. I assure you that her story was mostly fallacious. Well, partially, anyway. Okay, I did dance on the table. And she did push me into the ocean. But let’s get one thing straight: I was wearing a stripey polo shirt, not my Sleater-Kinney kitty tee.

The cat tee was on the second date. (During which she threw skee balls at me, but: story for another time.)

Moving right along. So, I decided to do something a little different today, which means no Friday Randomness. Yes, I know, but really, did you want to hear me talk about zombies again? I didn’t think so. Which means we’ll save the convo about George Romero’s new zombie flick for some other time.

What I have in mind is still kinda random and fun, though. Last Friday, I got tagged by Jenn on her blog (tangent: Okay, if the lightning and thunder are almost simultaneous, that’s bad, right? Maybe I should close my window…) and given the task of sharing with you seven things about me you may not know. I’m also supposed to tag seven other people, but: not happening. You know I don’t play by the rules.

Anyway, I thought instead I would share with you seven fun facts about Funky Carter — many of which you are probably unfamiliar with — since let’s face it, you pretty much already know all there is to know about me. I may be boring, but at least I’m consistent.

So without further ado (because I’m exhausted), let’s get to it:

1. Knives and other weapons were banned from the Funky Carter Offices in 2005 after Aaron accidentally stabbed himself with a 3′ fantasy sword.

2. True science fact: Studies show that babies are less fussy when you read Funky Carter to them.

3. Disgraced pastor Ted Haggard was once quoted as saying “If God wanted us to laugh, he would write something on Funky Carter.” Don’t judge the man too harshly is all I’m saying.

4. Cookies are used as money in the Funky Carter Offices.

5. In late 2003, our organization named Ginger Spice the “Official Spice Girl of Funky Carter”. An induction ceremony was held, but sadly, the invite was lost in the byzantine nightmare that is transatlantic mail. Is what I’m guessing, anyway.

6. The original couch from Season 1 of Perfect Strangers can be found in the Funky Carter Offices. It contains all the DNA needed to clone our own Balki, which we have done twice.

7. Funky Carter: Preferred by more robots over any other news source (Time/CNN poll, 2006).

Sorry for the lameness, but I really am falling asleep. Enjoy your weekends, and I’ll catch you all back here bright and early Monday, at which time I will, I will rock you. Rock you.

I miss you already!