It’s Halloween Month at our nation’s retailers, which means that, in addition to miles of aisles of crappy pirate costumes, glow sticks, and those bags of irritating fake spider webs, the average consumer now has access to over seven hundred thousand varieties of assorted candies and snack foods, many of which are now available in special “seasonal” varieties. Sometimes this simply means slapping ghosts on the package or tossing in some orange food coloring, but every year there are at least a few unique offerings to be had, and if they sound intriguing enough — or just mind-bogglingly gross — I make it a point to sample them for your entertainment. Let my pain be your gain — the “gain” in this case being the extra laughs you will enjoy at my expense.
Candy corn flavored snacks seem to be the trend this year, and while I have so far had no luck trying to track down the elusive, no-doubt-disgusting Candy Corn Oreos, I did come across White Chocolate Candy Corn M&Ms, which I had to buy because one, I love white chocolate, and B, I generally like M&Ms, even those weird coconut ones.
So how were these? Well, there are no surprises to be had inside: they are white chocolate M&Ms with some sort of synthetic candy corn flavoring added. And since regular candy corn tastes weird and synthetic to begin with, the effect is off-putting. Add to that the fact that low-quality white chocolate* can have an incredibly cloying taste, and the overall sensation is akin to cramming a bunch of sugar into your mouth and letting it sit there for an hour or so while it rots your teeth.
In other words, I liked them. In very, very small doses. Like, say, two or three pieces. Anything more than that, and you may go into a diabetic coma and/or vomit. Recommended!
* – Shut up: There is such a thing as high-quality white chocolate, it’s delicious, and I don’t care if you consider it “real chocolate” or not.