Candy Corn Twinkies

Sign of personal growth: I no longer have any desire to subject my body to the terrors of novelty Halloween Oreos, Candy Corn M&Ms, or anything of their ilk.

Let’s be clear about this, nerds: as I take my final steps along the road to middle age, I have in no way, shape, or form, forsaken the sweeter things in life. This is still me we’re talking about, and a macaron place just opened a few blocks away from my apartment. Know what I’ve been eating a lot lately? Fucking macarons. Plus, I have Biscoff toast for breakfast every weekend. And our freezer is never short on ice cream. Guys, the point is: I am a gross pig.

But! — and this is a big but, Sir Mix A Lot — if I’m going to eat that shit, I want it to be good. And by good I certainly don’t mean fancy; Ben and Jerrys is still my ice cream brand of choice. No, I simply mean I can’t subject my body to the pain and suffering of caramel apple Twix for your entertainment anymore. Growth! I’m all growed up!

That said, I will apparently still watch terrible horror movie sequels for the sake of blog material. Which, I should probably get back to that. That’ll be…fun.

2 thoughts on “Candy Corn Twinkies

  1. Halloween oreos are fantastic. Too bad I fell in love with someone allergic to chocolate. He also hates most candy. I told him if he develops lactose intolerance I am leaving. I do not want to live in a world without ice cream. I am too chicken shit to eat weird MnMs or watch terrible movies, so I am selfishly glad you are still hitting 1 for 2 and sharing the joy with us.

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